Children learn words by hearing them, over and over, right when the words matter. Two of the simplest ways to make that happen are parallel talk and self-talk. They need no toys, no flashcards, and no special time set aside.
They work especially well for children who are not talking much yet, because they give language without asking for anything back. Here is what each one means, how it sounds in real life, and how to keep it relaxed.
What parallel talk and self-talk mean
Self-talk is narrating what you are doing. You become the sportscaster for your own actions: “I am pouring the water. Pour, pour. All done.”
Parallel talk is narrating what your child is doing. You put words to their play as it happens: “You are pushing the truck. Push! It is going up the ramp.”
Both connect words to the exact thing your child is seeing or doing. That link between word and moment is what helps meaning stick. And because your child is not asked a question, there is no pressure to answer.
Examples across the day
You do not need to add activities. Just add a few words to the ones you already do. For more ideas, see our post on encouraging speech through everyday routines.
Bath time
You (self-talk): “Water on. Warm water. I am pouring it on your toes.”
Child: (splashes)
You (parallel talk): “Splash! You splashed. Big splash!”
In the car
You (self-talk): “Buckle. Click! I am driving to the park.”
Child: (points out the window)
You (parallel talk): “You see a bus. Big bus. Bus is going.”
Snack time
Child: (reaches for crackers)
You (parallel talk): “You want crackers. Crunch, crunch.”
You (self-talk): “I am peeling my orange. Peel, peel. Juicy!”
At the park
Child: “Up!”
You (parallel talk): “Up the slide! You are climbing up. Now down. Wheee!”
Getting dressed
You (self-talk): “I have your sock. Sock on. Now the other sock.”
Child: (pushes an arm through the sleeve)
You (parallel talk): “Arm in! You did it. Shirt on.”
Tips that make it work
- Talk one step ahead. Use phrases just a little longer than your child’s. If your child uses single words or none, try one or two words. If they use two words, try three or four.
- Keep it short. “Ball rolling” lands better than a long sentence about the ball.
- Pause and wait. After you talk, count to five in your head. This gives your child a chance to add a sound, gesture, sign, or word if they want to.
- Follow their interests. Talk about what your child is already focused on, whether that is trains, water, or lining up blocks. Attention is already there, so words connect more easily.
- Repeat key words. Saying “open” five times in one snack is not boring to a toddler. It is how words become familiar.
- Use your home languages. Talk in the language or languages that feel most natural to your family. Rich language in any language helps.
- It is okay to be quiet. You do not need to fill every moment. Silence gives your child room to play and to take a turn.
Common mistakes to skip
Narrating nonstop. A constant stream of words can feel like background noise, and some children find it overwhelming. Aim for short bursts with pauses in between.
Turning it into a quiz. “What is this? What color? Say ball!” changes the feeling from sharing to testing. Swap questions for comments:
Instead of: “What is that? Say dog.”
Try: “A dog! Big dog. Dog says woof.”
Talking about something else. If your child is stacking cups and you start talking about dinner plans, the word and the moment do not match. Stay with what they are doing.
For minimally speaking children and AAC users
Parallel talk and self-talk are a great fit for children who speak a little or not at all, because nothing is required in return. Every message you model is a gift, not a demand.
If your child uses AAC (augmentative and alternative communication, like a speech app, a picture board, or signs), model on their system too. As you say “more bubbles,” tap MORE and BUBBLES on the device. You are showing how their tool works, the same way we talk to babies long before they talk back. Our post on using visual supports to encourage communication has more ideas.
You: “Bubbles go up.” (taps GO and UP)
Child: (watches, then taps UP)
You: “Up! Bubbles go up!”
If your child echoes phrases or scripts, that is communication too. Some children are Gestalt Language Processors, and the whole phrases you use during self-talk may become phrases they use later. Our parent’s guide to Gestalt Language Processing explains more.
When to check in with a speech therapist
These strategies help every child, but they are not a replacement for support when a child needs it. Consider checking in if your child has few words for their age, seems to understand less than peers, has lost skills, or often seems frustrated about being understood.
How we can help
At Tumble N’ Dots, our speech therapists use parallel talk and self-talk in play-based sessions and coach parents on using them at home, so the strategies fit your real day. If you would like to see how it works, we would love for you to book a tour and learn more about our speech therapy.